Category: Uncategorized
-
Pixel Perfect
Florida. 1990. Eight-year-old Jeremy (me) was down the street at a friend’s house. The friend’s dad was setting up their Nintendo Entertainment System, or NES if you’re one of the kool kidz. Having enjoyed nationwide distribution in September 1986, it took a few years to filter down to the poorer neighborhoods (mine). My friend Alvin…
-
More Fun When it’s Well Done
Florida. 2019. When you become a father there are certain rites of passage that come with it. Dad jokes, the dad bod (where did that fat roll come from?), getting your child’s shit on your face. Another, and arguably more pleasant one is grilling some meat for your family. I say meat, but there are…
-
More Than Just a Table
No one goes hungry in my house. It’s a rule I’ve had since, well, since I’ve had a house. This goes beyond just my family. If you are in my house, I will feed you. Even if it takes my last dollar. I think the world needs more of this. Hospitality, I mean, not my…
-
Foamy Diarrhea
Florida. 2015. At the time my oldest was three and my second was 1 year old. A stomach virus had been kicking our asses for nearly a week. My wife finally feels well enough to go get some groceries. Here is a timeline of that evening: 6pm: wife leaves to the store. 6:05: I put…
-
Traumasaurus Rex
Florida. 2019. Back when my third child was about three, we were still living in Florida. One of the (very) few benefits of that was access to Disney and its environs. There is an area now called Disney Springs, back then it was called Downtown Disney. Sort of a tourist trap, but there were some…
-
Covid Cruise
Florida. 2020. Vacationing with kids is fun. Vacationing without them is more fun, at least for the adults. When the vacation involves children, the whole trip becomes about them, if it wasn’t already. Are they having a good time? Has everyone eaten? Did we leave one of them at the last gas station? It’s hard…
-
Red Lobster Puke
Florida. 2015. When my oldest was almost 4 and my second child was still a baby in a car seat, the wife and I decided to treat ourselves and take the family out to red lobster. I think it had been years since I’ve eaten there and I was looking forward to it. This…
-
What’s Green and in Your Nose?
Florida. 2021. Faces have holes in them. We don’t often think about our face holes until there is a problem with one. Kids are curious. When a child finds something that seems to fit perfectly in one of the face holes, well, I think you can guess what happens. When L– was 7, he came…
